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Thursday, March 28, 2024

Chaudhary Nisar and Fast & Furious 9

Zeeshan Munir |

Most of us are fans of The Fast and the Furious movie which is based on a series of action films that is largely concerned with illegal street racing and heists. It has become Universal’s biggest franchise of all time, currently the sixth highest-grossing film series with a combined gross of over $5 billion. The ninth installment of the franchise is set to be released on April 19, 2019, but Pakistanis witnessed the movie much earlier than expected.

The cavalcade paced though Mandra, Rawat, Gujjar Khan, Dina, and Sohawa and stopped only at Jhelum, located on the edge of the Pothohar belt. Earlier, PML-N leadership expressed their worries that ‘Mian Sahab’ might not be able to cross Gujar Khan on day 2 of his long march due to the huge public presence along the GT Road.

The ousted former premier Nawaz Sharif along with his entourage raced at the speed of well above 100 Km’s per hour on Thursday, after leaving Rawalpindi. The cavalcade paced through Mandra, Rawat, Gujjar Khan, Dina, and Sohawa (NS stayed there only temporarily) and stopped only at Jhelum, located on the edge of the Pothohar belt. Earlier, PML-N leadership expressed their worries that ‘Mian Sahab’ might not be able to cross Gujar Khan on day 2 of his ‘Long March’ due to the huge public presence along the GT Road. However, much to the dismay of PML-N strategists, events turned out to be otherwise.

Read more: Isn’t Ayesha Gulalai lying?

According to a few sources within the ruling party, security threats have led to this fast-paced journey. The argument appears weak because some representatives of the league are alluding towards a colossal reception in Gujranwala.

Regardless of the success or failure of this ‘Long March’, the nation was impressed by the speed of Nawaz’s cavalcade which reminded them of Fast & Furious movie. However, one question remains unanswered. Who directed and produced this epic flick?

Chaudhary Nisar?

Former Interior Minister and a senior PML-N leader, famous for his long press conferences and threats to resign (although he never did so) seem to have produced this classic flick.

Ch. Nisar announced his resignation from his post and National Assembly seat, which would have been effective on the day the apex court announces its decision. As usual, Ch. Nisar did not resign and still holds the NA seat but is not part of the new cabinet under Khaqan Abbasi

Exactly a day before the Supreme Court’s decision on Panama Case, emotive Ch. Nisar announced his resignation from his post and National Assembly seat, which would have been effective on the day the apex court announces its decision. As usual, Ch. Nisar did not resign and still holds the NA seat but is not part of the new cabinet under Khaqan Abbasi (not on moral grounds but only because he did not want to be a minister under junior Khaqan Abbasi).

Read more: Nawaz’s Machiavellian politics behind Nisar’s new found love for the Army?

In tinier than the usual press conference, Nisar expressed his discontent with the way the entire Panama fiasco was handled by Nawaz Sharif and hinted on divisions within the party. However, Supreme Court’s decision to disqualify Nawaz Sharif and Ayesha Gulalai’s scandalous allegations on Khan overshadowed Ch. Nisar’s colossal revelations and he quietly vanished into the murkiness of political events.

Ch. Nisar was actually busy producing and directing one of the most epic flicks of all times in Pakistan’s history. Critiques were impressed by the fact that he produced this master piece by actually doing nothing

It is only after yesterday’s events on GT Road that observers realized that Ch. Nisar was actually busy producing and directing one of the most epic flicks of all times in Pakistan’s history. Critics were impressed by the fact that he produced this master piece by actually doing nothing (The Americans spend millions of dollars and utilize hundreds of staff and technicians to produce their versions of the Fast & Furious movie).

Read more: Nawaz Sharif’s GT Road Yatra and his confrontational politics

How did Ch. Nisar achieve this milestone?

Ch. Nisar holds influence over much of the Pothohar region. Since 1980’s, he has retained his NA-52 seat and has the ability to affect the party politics in the constituencies surrounding his own. This is the only reason why the house of Sharif always rush to tame Ch. Nisar whenever he expresses discontent over party leadership decisions. Loss of Ch. Nisar will considerably reduce the influence of PML-N in the entire Pothohar region.

Read more: Nisar sounded desperate on Supreme Court Commission report

The reason for Nawaz Sharif’s cavalcade’s heist through the Pothohar region was the absence of Ch. Nisar. According to various political pundits, the absence of large crowds in Pothohoar belt in this ‘Long March’ (which has only been organized to gratify Nawaz Sharif), can be attributed to the internal divisions within the ruling party.

This was proven once again yesterday. The reason for Nawaz Sharif’s cavalcade’s heist through the Pothohar region was the absence of Ch. Nisar. According to various political pundits, the absence of large crowds in Pothohoar belt in this ‘Long March’ (which has only been organized to gratify Nawaz Sharif), can be attributed to the internal divisions within the ruling party. Nisar and his close aides (PML-N MNA’s) in Pothohar region did not take any interest in this lost cause. Other PML-N leaders, belonging to central and southern Punjab, who are part of this entourage were rendered helpless in gathering crowds which ultimately contributed to the fast and furious heist of Nawaz from this region.

Ch. Nisar vs other PML-N directors

Critiques of the movie say that it was directed by Ameer Muqam and produced by tax payer’s money. Ayesha Gulalai played the lead role in this movie (many believe that the script was written by Reham Khan)

Only a week ago, PML-N produced the flop movie, “Wo Mujhe ganday ganday message krta tha”. Critics of the movie say that it was directed by Ameer Muqam and produced by tax payer’s money. Ayesha Gulalai played the lead role in this movie (many believe that the script was written by Reham Khan). Her poor performance, lack of Ameer Muqam’s experience and weak story failed to make any impact on box-office.

Read more: Is Ch. Nisar being sacked?

Ch. Nisar, however, once again proved that he is the boss and directed a movie which took everyone by storm. Mr. Nisar has proven his mettle as a director and has sent out a clear message to the budding Lollywood industry that he is a force to be reckoned with.

We are united. Are you?

The house of Sharif’s seem to be losing control over the party. Their aides in the ruling party have time and again iterated that this is not the case. However, yesterday’s poor performance and Nawaz Sharif’s anger on his party leaders in not gathering crowds indicate that all is not well. The success of Nawaz’s gamble depends only upon putting up of an impressive show.

Panic is conspicuous when supporters perched in a responsible role are caught doctoring images. Foreign minister Khawaja Asif tweeted pictures from a rally held in Chittagong Bangladesh last year.

The opposition can take much heart from the proceedings of the rally so far. PML-N has been under fire for allegedly using images of Mumtaz Qadri’s funeral to show the responsiveness of people for Nawaz Sharif. Panic is conspicuous when supporters perched in a responsible role are caught doctoring images. Foreign minister Khawaja Asif tweeted pictures from a rally held in Chittagong Bangladesh last year. All this doesn’t exude confidence on part of the N League. Only a sudden surge in diehards supporters can present some pretty optics for the ruling party.

Still, the nation must thank Ch. Nisar for directing a flick which will be remembered for a long time to come.

P.S: Watch out for Shahbaz Sharif as well.

(As abundantly clear this is a piece of political satire based on actual events; the writer apologizes to all characters for any unintended hurt) 

Zeeshan Munir is a Research Analyst and Sub Editor at Global Village Space. He has a penchant for writing on the Middle East and International Humanitarian Law. The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Global Village Space’s editorial policy.