Pakistani singer Komal Rizvi revealed her former husband hit her with the frying pan once for serving him cold food.
In a podcast with Nadir Ali, Rizvi opened up about the abusive marriage she had with a person who she called mentally unstable. She said her husband abused her physically and psychologically, making her believe that it is her fault.
“Look, a girl is told from her very childhood that you are going to have a lovely wedding and her husband will take care of you. That girl, especially in our culture, tries not 100 percent but 200 percent hard to save her marriage,” she said. “I have a complaint for our society — it doesn’t teach our daughters what the line is. The line, that, forget your husband, no one can cross because it will result in the loss of your self-respect, confidence, and self-esteem. You won’t be able to trust yourself or have faith in yourself and your happiness will be ruined if you let them cross this line. No one taught me this.”
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She urged that women must be taught on asserting their boundaries. Adding that it took her five years to realize that it was not her fault at all. “It took me four years to realize that it isn’t my fault if he raises his hand at me or oppresses me [and that] he’s also playing mind games alongside that. Mind games like ‘It was your fault I hit you with a frying pan — why did you serve me cold food?’,” she said. “I was so young at the time that when he would repeat these same things, play psychological games, I would believe that maybe if I love him more if I try harder, he’ll be happy with me. But a person who is sick — yes, he’s sick — a person who does such uncouth things like raising a hand on someone — there is nothing more uncouth than that — I don’t even raise a hand on a dog, forget humans.”I only have one regret — I have no regrets about my divorce, I am happy — if I have regrets, they’re only about wasting my prime youth on a person who’s still like that, he’s still at the same mental and spiritual growth levels as before,” she stated.